The definition

fluke

n

1. an accidental stroke of luck

2. any chance happening

 

 

To be continued...

Still feeling his presence...

Today is Wednesday. The day after I saw my son. Yesterday, and still this morning, the energy I felt when I saw his face is still with me. I've spent the last 24 hours wondering why he visited me. Did he just want to see me too? Was he curious? Does God allow our families to look down and peek at us sometimes? Was he trying to tell me something?

I called a new church Tuesday morning. Even though I am still struggling with God, faith, and turn off at the thought of praying or even discussing the bible. I am looking for a new church for my family. I am going to talk to a Pastor and ask for help.

Perhaps, Christian just wanted to tell me that I made the right decision and he (and Grace) are there waiting for me. If I walk away, we won't see each other again.

I still see your face.....

Your big brother wishes I could draw it so he could see you too.....

You are missed....

Christian

I was sleeping early this morning. In my dream, I woke up and walked out of my room. A young boy was standing in my living room. At first glance, I thought it was my son Josh... but within seconds I realized it wasn't. I stared at this young boy's face. Questioning in my head who he was, yet knowing in my heart and spirit exactly who he was. I haven't seen his face since he was just one and a half hours old ~ 13 years ago. But I still recognized him. It was Christian.

I was overwhelmed with a feeling of familiarity. I didn't know this child, but my heart did. I knew he belonged to me. Every detail of his face was alive and real.

I have longed to know what he would look like today. Did he take after his big brother Drew or Josh... mom's side or dad's?  Now I know, he looks just like Josh.  Shorter with lighter hair.

It was a miracle.

I know this visit was more than a dream. Seeing his face jolted my spirit. The colors were so vivid and bright, not foggy like a dream. His face is imprinted in my brain, not like a dream where its hard to remember details. The peace I feel this morning is unlike any feeling of peace I have ever felt before.

Christian, thank you for your short visit. I am so in awe to finally see your face. You are beautiful.

I love and miss you muchly.